We are nearing the Christmas holiday and although it is a time that many look forward to in order to rest, have more time available and see loved ones, it can also be an emotionally difficult time.  More time spent with the people closest to you and with family (and in-laws) can also confront you with the difficulties of unresolved issues and dynamics in these relationships.  This is also a time when losses can be particularly painfully felt, even if they were suffered many years ago.

Have you seen the scars of a loved on who hurts herself/himself?  Have you witnessed someone sitting with a razor blade cutting themselves?   These acts are enormously disturbing and distressing for those who witness them or are aware of them.  These acts are sometimes superficial scratches on the skin, but can be more serious and dangerous when people burn or cut themselves.  In extreme cases people can even remove a body part.  This behavior is devastating to witness and is a great risk. Why do people do this to themselves?  These people will often report that they experience a compulsion.  They experience a buildup of tension that leads to an irresistible urge to discharge the tension with the act of self-mutilation.

We as humans long for secure relationships.  Many humans long for someone to who you are very special and who will never leave you or prefer another person.  How realistic are these expectations really and how do you know when you are wasting your time in a relationship?

Some people seek the answer to these questions in books that give guidelines on how to judge if someone is really serious about you.  It makes me wonder why people need books to decide about their relationship and why people cannot trust their own instincts.

Why do some people end up in committed relationships where they are loved and treated with respect while others end up being used and hurt?  Then it also happens that some people are in a good relationship, but do not realize it and interpret normal events as painful or rejecting.

When a baby is adopted very early (minutes, hours, days or weeks) after birth - does it really impact on his/her psychological wellbeing?  After all, a baby won’t remember the events. 

Yet, it is important to note that adopted children are at greater risk for later behavioral and emotional problems.  Why would that be?  Is it the issues of the adoptive parents that cause this?

Adoptive parents, like all other parents, have their own issues that can impact on their children.  These issues should be taken seriously, yet it is very important to know that the adoption itself has a profound impact on children.

Narcissistic Personalities: The tragedy of loss of the true self.

The self-respect of the narcissist is dependent on his achievements and admiration of others.  When this suddenly fails he is left feeling worthless and depressed.  They cannot show remorse, because acknowledging a failure exposes them to be seen as not perfect.  They do not acknowledge their need for others because dependency needs feel like a failure to them.